Prince Charming

This one is about a boy. He's really not a boy, he's a man. A perfectly matched, totally made for me man. The silly part of it all is that we've never actually met (laugh, joke, call me a loser). Anyway, I've known him for a little over a year now and we're friends....kind of. Like, I find it hard to be his friend when I want to devour him. I don't mean that sexually either, it's not like that. He's super smart, undoubtedly funny, and irresistibly charming. It's probably the most cliché thing to say, but if I had to make out a list of what I wanted in a man his name would be the only thing I had to write. He's my perfect.

I usually have the hardest time talking to my crushes, but I can talk to him. He's easygoing, so it's really not a problem. Girls love him and are always flirting, he flirts back making them all feel special, myself included. It's funny how he can do it so openly and no one gets jealous. Are you starting to understand just how charming he is? lol

So my intention was to complain, but I've done nothing but sing his praises here.

The complaint: He and I will never be Us. :(

I kind of get this feeling from him that it would just never happen, even under the best circumstances. And that frustrates the hell out of me. To have found someone so made for you and know that you will most likely never be with them just kills. It absolutely kills me. Sometimes I even doubt this friendship thing we have because he is so nice to everyone and gets along with just about anyone, it kind of lessens the "I'm special" feeling. I haven't felt like this about anyone since my high school crush (he's another story).

I don't even know if it's weight-related, but it probably is since that usually rules every overweight person's life. I'm afraid of ruining whatever chance I may have with him, so I try to act smarter than I am and have learned to be fairly humorous in hopes of impressing him. When I do make him laugh or openly admire my wit it's like winning some amazing prize (other than him, lol). It's a stupid game! I'm tired of playing these games with boys. It's a complete mindfuck, and I just can't take it anymore.

I haven't actually told him how I feel. I flirt and joke, and he may know, but nothing official has been said. I use to do that, I use to tell my crushes how I felt and that blew-up in my face a few times. **Side Note: When I was about 11 or 12, I looked up my crush's number in the phone book, called him, and asked him out. Got a big no way, and that's pretty much where it all began.**

He's my fairytale Prince Charming, unfortunately only in my little dreamworld.